To Earn Your Wings
by Touch the Moon
Summary: (Angst and Tragedy as well)Serena is in desperate need of help. an anyone save her from these thoughts? Thoughts of dying and loneliness? Will someone reach her in time? Or has life taken it's harsh toll already?
1. Prologue

As I sat on the edge of my bed, staring out my bedroom window, a thought came to my head. What is life? I know, it sounds like a pretty dumb question. But do you know? I don't think anyone does. I sit here every night thinking of questions like these. Like always though, I end up getting frustrated. And being frustrated causes me to cry. So why do I do it? I wish I could answer that.  
  
I stood up off my bed, not wanting to leave the silver glow of the moon hanging in the sky. My mirror was shining in the light, almost daring me to look into it. Of course being the weak person I am, I gave in. As I sat infront of the mirror, staring back at me was someone I did not know. The dark circles under my eyes, my long blonde hair, tangled and dull. What caused the most pain were my eyes. I never looked straight at myself. The pain I would see.I knew I couldn't handle it. They used to be a bright blue, almost crystal. Now, they just stare. Blank and emotionless. Just a dull, dark blue, like the clouds on a rainy day. The tears falling from my eyes now like a mid-summer rain.  
  
Of course, I could never tell anyone of my problems. How I sit here every night, staring at the stars and moon, crying. They are just like me. All alone in an unknown world. No one to share their happy times or feelings with. But it's not the stars I feel closest too. It's the moon. When I look at it, the dark spots and intricate designs drawn on it like a painting, I feel something inside of me. Something I don't feel very often. I actually feel a part of it. Like, I have a bond with the moon that I just can't quite put my finger on. That's not what brings the tears to my eyes, though. It's the fact that I know I will never be able to touch the moon, or feel it in my grasp. To feel a part of something, but will never be able to hold, is something that breaks your heart.  
  
There are a lot of things going on in my head. Things a lot of people wouldn't understand. Mostly because they experience 'real'feelings. Not the ones of depressed people. When people of this manner come out to show everyone their real self, the one who cries and has emotions other than happy and accomplished, they are shunned. I am shunned. For some people, there are only a few emotions the 'real' people are allowed to feel. So naturally, when new people come along, not acustom to the rules of the real world, loneliness is really the only option left.  
  
A creak outside my door shook me from my daze. I knew who it was. The same person it always is, their only goal being to tear up what confidence in myself I had left. Of course, it happens to also be the one person who should be helping me build onto that confidence. Fate has an odd way of dealing with things though. Once in a while, it seems to pair up with Caos, just to make my life all that much more unbearable. The worst part of this being I can't prepare for it anymore. Not physically, or mentally. Definatley not emotionally. Basically, I had to just roll with the punches. Slowly and quietly, I walked to the door. I stared at it for a while, knowing what lied just on the other side. It mocked me, as if getting some sick pleasure from being able to stare blankly while it happenned. Let it stare. It's not as if it would help me even if it could.  
  
I turned the handle, trying to make no sound, knowing I would be punished greater if I did. Like a child seeing the world for the first time, I peeked out the door. My eyes wide with terror, filled with tears wishing to scream for help. Shaking, I opened it wider. I was right. Same as usual, waiting for me. God knows what he finds amusing about this, and if God does, I'm sure He's disgusted. I keep asking myself why I let this continue on. Letting what I had left of a soul, or so I liked to call it, be beaten to nothing more than pieces of dreams and goals scattered everywhere. I used to be a happy person, the one who could make a whole room glow just by stepping in. Always the smiling girl, even if it was raining or someone had commented on something horrible about me. I think that's where it started. Letting people walk over me as if I was so unknown to the world, I was nothing but a pile of dust being kicked around, their emotions being swirled. Too many times had I disregarded their comments and actions towards me, letting it pass by as nothing. Everyone else seemed to handle it quite well enough, I figured I could too. So, not knowing what the eventual outcome would be, I shrugged it off as an everyday happenning, figuring everyone was made fun of constantly, wether it was seen or not. If only I had known then what I do now.  
  
In the corner now, I hugged my knees close to my chest. Handing me a pillow, I took it as usual, and covered my mouth with it. Hiding my face in it as well, I cried. Into the night sprang my screams of remorse. Fot not realizing my future. Or what was left of it. As the swift pains came more close together now, I felt a dark haze surrounding me. Comforting in it's own way, yet scaring me, I decided to take what comfort I could. Taking me in like a thick fog, I began to breathe slower now. Knowing I would sleep soon, I relaxed, no longer feeling the outcome of my fathers hard day. The kicks and punches began to fade away as if they were feathers gently landing about me. Closer to sleep now, I closed my eyes tight, trying to find that small light that came for me every time. I found it, and basked in it's warmness, feeling the new life pour over me like soft kisses from a child. No longer feeling the pain, I let go, knowing everything would be back to the routine the next morning. 


	2. The Morning After

Feeling a warm wash on my face, I allowed myself to lie in my spot on the plush powder blue carpet for a while longer. Not opening my eyes, imagining I was in a place where I could smile, and actually mean it. Sure, I smiled. But how often had the smile been caused from happiness or laughter. I heard a small click, with soft music pouring out of the tiny holes as an after effect. Hearing my alarm clock go off, I knew it was seven o'clock in the morning. My eyes fluttered open slowly, seeing a familiar object infront of me. Inside the mirror was a girl with a tear streaked face, her hair messy and strewn everywhere. Dark purple bruises were forming on her shoulders and arms, a black circle slightly swelling her eye shut. Her world seemed so dark, uneasy. Not being able to look anymore, afraid I would see something I was trying to avoid, I flipped onto my back instead. Hanging from my ceiling were different colored stars. I am obsessed, aren't I? Fluffing the pillow under my head slightly, I noticed the large bump forming on the side. A slight throbbing pounding inside, I put a hand to my forehead, trying to ease the constant beating. Realizing the bright sun streaming in wasn't helping any, I decided to get up.  
  
Resting on my hands and knees I thought lowering my head might subside the pain somewhat. Only causing it to grow louder, I decided to take the final leap and try to stand up. Using the dresser for support, I lifted myself higher from my spot in the corner, my limbs shaking from the previous night. Wearily walking to the closet, I shoved it open, revealing a closet full of clothes. A pair of overalls, tan coloured corduroy jeans, various pairs of blue jeans, t-shirts and sweaters hung inside lazily on the silver bar. Pulling a lightpink sweater out and my tan corduroys, I slipped them on slowly, still groggy from sleep. Flicking the light on in the bathroom, the girl from the mirror greeted me again. Averting my eyes, I picked up a comb, sorting through the golden mass on my head. Grabbing a white ponytail holder, I gathered my hair up to the top of my head, tying it in place in its two-bun style. Taking one last look in the mirror, I noticed the girl was beginning to look closer to normal by the minute.  
  
I smelt the fresh scent of morning brewed coffee hanging in the air. Slowly making my way down the wood stairs, I prepared for another day of lies and truth. In my mind, thoughts echoed, hitting certain parts and pouncing on my mind like wild fire. Maybe things will be different today. I might come down the stairs, seeing a family I never saw before, encasing me in warm hugs, surrounding me with love. Maybe even giving me the gift of a new life, letting me start over, and not be afraid to trust anyone. I knew I was kidding myself, setting up unreal goals, only cramping myself in a small box of being let down again. I can dream can't I?  
  
Rounding the corner to our kitchen, I took in my surroundings. A small oak table adorned with a yellow tablecloth sat in the center. Counters of canary blue tiles lined three walls, stopping where a bookshel sat, holding a small white T.V. Plants of bright green hung from the far corner to my left, vines placed gracefully along the top of the oak cupboards created an exotic aura. White appliances decorated the room, as bright sunshine poured over the silver utencils hanging on the wall. A woman with grey-lilac hair in a loose bun stood infront of the oven, eggs sizling from the black pan. Wearing a blue dress with a floral apron tied around her thin waist, she hummed a song over the faint sounds of a newscaster in the background. Funny how someone so innocent could act so strong, knowing nothing of my many nights of pain.  
  
Then I saw him. Sitting at the table, diligently smoking his cigarette and reading the morning paper. I wondered if he even remembered last night, noticing the smell of strong alchohol on his breath then. My mother, looking over her shoulder, gave me a weak smile, tiredness streaming from her eyes. My father folded the paper, placing his cigarette in the glass ashtray. He looked up, and blue crashed against brown. Feeling small, I slinked into my chair, across the square table from him. Averting my eyes to the world outside, I peered through the opening in the yellow curtains. The sun was already high in the sky; light puffy clouds were placed evenly throughout the sky. Being fall, orange, red and gold leaves hung onto the trees, some being sacrificed to the warm autumn wind outside.  
  
Noticing a small china plate with blue designs sitting infront of me, I looked over the contents sitting silently, getting cold. Scrambled eggs with cheese, two pieces of toast, about four pieces of bacon and hashbrowns crisped a nice golden. I smiled just smelling the fragrance of my morning meal, my mouth wattering, wishing to taste the warm food. Silently picking up my silver fork, I scooped up a small helping of eggs, blowing on it gently to let it cool down. Feling my fathers stare on me, I felt uncomfortable, but told myself I wouldn't let him ruin this. Placing the contents in my mouth, I chewed slowly, savouring the fresh taste. If there was one thing I was good at, it was eating, ask anyone who knows me.  
  
"This is really great, mom!" I smiled at her, placing more of the breakfast on my fork. She turned to me, folding her hands infront. Her blue, almost amethyst eyes glittered, saying 'happy' but radiating something different. "I'd say this is your best yet! Well, if that's possible." I winked at her, causing her face to turn to a small smile, giggles echoing through the room. I loved it when she smiled. Lighting up the whole room, as my own used to do, she made me want to cry. She didn't deserve this. The dealing my father gave to her. I knew she knew about everything. You could see it in her eyes. How tired she was every morning, never looking at my father directly.  
  
"Yes, it is quite exquisite. Wonderful job, Ikuko." He spoke. The sound sent chills up my spine. My mother winced at the tone of his voice, hanging her head slightly. A bitter sweetness dripping with sarcasm. This meant he was satisfied, but wanted more. I hated the bastard. Causing such a pure angel such ache. But, he was my father, so I respected him, as I should. He placed his napkin on the side of his dish, having finished the meal. Standing up, pushing the chair backwards he rounded the table, placing a hand on my shoulder as he went by. "Have a nice day, Serena." I jerked from his grasp, memories flooding in. Not today. Today was going to be my day. Smiling evily, he looked towards my mother, crossing his arms over his chest. "Ikuko, would you step into the living room for a minute, please? I need to talk to you about something." Looking up from her work, she walked over to him and past, her shoes softly padding the ground.  
  
Knowing he was gone, I grabbed the remote control, changing the station to the music channel. A new song by my favourite artist rang through the kitchen. Singing along quiety, I picked up my dishes and rinsed them in the sink. Grabbing a glass from the cupboard, I poured myself a cold glass of milk, hoping to wake myself. I went over my life, trying to figure out where everything went wrong, like I do everyday. Pulling out my chair again, I sat down, my chin resting in one hand as I sipped the cold liquid silently. Deep in thought, I thought about school. Being one of the 'rich' schools, it was big and beautiful. Sienna brick walls with silver attatchments stood out in my small town. Inside, it was spotless and well kept. Large tiled rooms with long hallways, stairs to all three levels creating a maze. Secret pathways seemed to be discovered everyday. Yes, I was rich. Well, my family was anyways. My mother was a stay at home woman, cleaning and cooking like my dad liked it. Dad owned a big business, Stairwell Industries. A company that took calls from clueless persons, needing help to figure out internet and computer problems. Not that I held a grudge against these people, but calling about which button to press, 'continue' or 'delete'. It had to get annoying once in a while. Hearing a faint *whack* from somewhere in my house, I figured my father had left, slamming the door behind him. Good riddens, I though to myself, afraid it wasn't the door, and he may still be here.  
  
My mother entered, her cheeks red. Instantly going to the sink, she filled it up with water, spraying soap into the mixture. Instantly, bubbles formed, as she placed all the moring dinnerware into the sink. I watched as she quietly went about her work, her mind obviously somewhere else in time.  
  
"So, mom, what do you have planned for today? You're not just going to stay home all day, are you?" Turning in my chair to face her, she continued to wash, the dishes clanking being muffled by the water. "I mean, look outside! It's so wonderful out, I think you should go do something today. Besides, you deserve it after cooking such a wonderful meal." She laughed and came to pick up my empty glass. Placing a hand on my cheek, I felt the lines of old age and hard work on her. She smiled down at me, then turned back to the sink.  
  
"Well, your father suggested I get some groceries today, only the necessities of course. Then, I was thinking of maybe going down to the library to check out some new books." Drying the dishes with a pink towel, she placed them in the correct cupboards with care. She treated things with such love. I hoped I would be just like my mother when I grew up. I smiled realizing her plans for the day. She was always such a bookworm, filled with intellegent information. Me, I was the opposite. Interested in things like music and magazines, my grades showed it.  
  
"Well, that's good! Maybe after school today we can go window shopping!" I yelled from the living room, picking up my binder from it's home on the couch. Our living room was mainly dark red, cream, and gold. It was my favourite room. It seemed like such a comfortable room. Cream coloured chairs and a sofa with a matching coffee table lined the walls and center of the room. The table had gold markings on it, creating a cracked finish, which looked delicate yet sophisticated. Dark red curtains hung from the two large windows; one pulled to the side to let in some sun. The wood floors, walls and ceiling were light oak, and a T.V. stand of cream painted wood was on the far wall. Plants decorated this room as well; a small tree beside the T.V. stand, while plants in small red pots hung from the tall ceilings.  
  
"I don't think so dear. Your father is coming home early, which means I have to get supper cooking before he gets here. Sorry, honey. Maybe tomorrow, okay?" Her melodical voice rang through the room as she peered her head around the corner, a dishtowel hanging from her shoulder. Dissappointed but still content, I smiled at her again. Realizing the time, I quickly picked up my book and ran down the stairs to the door. I put on my pink sandals and yelled a 'goodbye' to my mom. As I opened our door to the outside, I breathed in the fresh morning air. Free for another day.  
  
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Looking up to the tall building infront of me, I tried not to scream. I knew it wasn't as bad as it looked, but such chaos rang through the interior. Well, I guess that's what you get for going to a rich highschool, and being in grade ten, no less. Walking confidently, my head high, I gathered my wits and walked to the front doors. Reaching towards the handles, I realized something wasn't right when I hit the ground. Propping myself up onto my elbows, I looked at my now open and scattered books, papers lying everywhere, blowing away. No point in trying to catch them now. I looked up to the door, and saw a form. A person, to be exact.Jet black hair, a bit longer than I liked, and startling blue eyes stared down at me. Sheepishly grinning, he looked at me, rubbing the back of his neck, obviosuly confused. The fact he was a male just registering in my mind, I began to get up.  
  
"Here, let me help you." A hand reached down, offering its assictance. Noticing someone was actually attached to this hand, I figured it was the boy. Dressed in dark jeans, a black t-shirt and an oatmeal color sweater, I decided he couldn't do much harm. I grasped the hand firmly and used its strenth to prop myself up to the certain level.  
  
"I'm Darien by the way. I just moved here yesterday." Bending down to pick up my books, I took in the information. Not being a rude person, I introduced myself as well.  
  
"I'm Serena. I've gone here all my life. Not the greatest place but, you gotta have some kind of education, right?" Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why do I make such lame jokes? Punching myself inside, I reached out to take my books. Thinking I could maybe slip away and be invisible, I prepared to run a marathon against time itself. Suddenly I heard laughter. Looking up, Darien was laughing. And it wasn't fake either! I think he was actually laughing at my joke.what was wrong with this kid?  
  
"Yeah, I think I'd drop out if my parents weren't so set on me being some rich doctor." Still in shock from his laughing, I stared at him. Why's he so open with me? Somethig was seriosuly wrong with him. Concern registering on his face, I tried to straighten under his intent stare.  
  
"Um.is there something wrong?" I asked, hoping I didn't have egg stuck to the side of my mouth or something. He took a step closer, looking at my face. Oh no. The worst had actualy come true.  
  
"Did you hit your eye or something when you fell?" Just remembernig I forgot makeup when I left my 'home', I kicked myself. How could I be so stupid? Maybe Lita has some.  
  
"No, I got in a fight with my brother yesterday. We fight pretty rough." I laughed nervously, hoping he believed my lies. Thankfully he did. Maybe I could convince him to see the school counselor.  
  
"Well, I'd hate to get in a fight with you then. I can imagine the shape your brothers in!" Laughing again, I giggled. Pondering what I should call my 'brother', I began to walk to the doors again. With Darien right behind me, we walked in together. People obviosuly thinking what they like, whispers were heard from various places. Some people were so sceptical.  
  
"So, do you know where everything is? I mean, I could help you if you want. I've gone here forever, so I think I know where everything is. Well, that's what everyone thinks, but really, there are doors we never even knew of that we find everyday." I laughed as I walked down my hallway towards my locker. Getting stares from teachers, I tried to shrug it off. Probably just wondering who the new boy was. I stopped infront of a mint green locker with the number 427 written on the silver handle. Darien turned to allow me privacy while entering my combination. '24.16.38' I stated inside my head. Tugging on the silver lock, I popped it open and placed the lock on the small shelf inside. I plopped my binder inside, trying to figure out what to do about my lost notes and possibly assignments, when I noticed Darien shifting uncomfortably. People looked him over as they passed, realizing a new boy had entered our school. I replaced the lock again and turned to him.  
  
"So, where's your schedule? Do you have a locker yet?" We stood there for a second. He hesitated and looked at me. Sighing, I took his hand and headed towards the front office. You think this stupid school would atleast give him information before letting him go in this heard of drones. As we weaved ourselves through the multiplying parasites called students, we eventually reached the front office door. Pushing open the glass door, the calls of the wild were left behind as it shut behind us.  
  
An old woman with grey hair and gold rimmed glasses looked up from the desk. Stepping forward, I began to explain our 'reason for intruding'.  
  
"Goodmorning!" I cooed, putting on a sweet smile. "I was wondering if you could help my friend here. You see, he just transferred here from.uh." I looked back at him, not remembering if he actually said where he was from.  
  
"Mississippi." He spoke mater-of-factly. I smiled and turned back to the order at hand.  
  
"Mississippi. It seems he hasn't received a locker number or schedule yet. I was wondering if you could possibly help us?" Making my innocent face, the lady smiled, turning to her computer screen. She clicked and typed as I studdied a poster hanging on the wall.  
  
"Name?" She looked up at as over the top of her glasses. Donovan stepped forward as he realized I didn't know his last name.  
  
"Darien Sheilds." He said, peering to the computer. So, Sheilds was his last name. Not knowing if it sounded protective or betraying, I turned back to the poster. It was too early to figure these things out.  
  
Hearing the door open again, I looked back as three girls stepped in. One had short blue hair and blue eyes, the other chestnut hair with emerald green eyes, and the last long black hair with wide violet eyes. I walked over to them as they waved. Not feeling like talking to them right now, but knowing I had no choice, I put on my fake smile and said.  
  
"Hey everyone! How are you today? I'm just helping Darien here get his schedule and stuff." I nodded back to the mysterious boy as I placed my hands in my back pockets. They all looked behind me, satisfaction registering on their faces. Even my friends had one track minds.Lita, the chestnut haired girl was the first to speak.  
  
"That's cool. But what happenned to your eye? Did you two meet while boxing or something?" She leaned in closer. Why does everyone do that? It's not like its going to tip its hat and say hello, people!  
  
"No, Lita, we ran into eachother this morning. Literally. And we started talking. He's new here, from Mississippi. I'm just helping him get settled." Seeing this as a reasonable explanation, I smiled approvingly. Raye flipped her long hair, obviously itching to say something. Us not always being the best of frineds, she had to find some way to lower my spirits. I'll bet she wouldn't if she knew what my life was actually all about.  
  
"Yeah, he seems okay. More your type than mine, I'd say." Snarling her way, I couldn't believe she had the nerve to say these things. It's not like she knew Darien personally. Hearing footsteps behind me, I turned to see him standing uncomfortable. Pushing him forward, I introduced him to my group. Pointing to the short haired girl first, I began.  
  
"This isAmy, that's Lita, and she'sRaye. Everyone, this is Darien Sheilds." He waved and smiled, the girls laughing shyly. Amy reached out her hand, a warm smile gracing her face. Too kind for her own good.  
  
"It's nice to meet you Darien. I hope you're in some of my classes! Any friend of Serenas is a friend of ours." Taking her hand he politely shook it. Handing me his schedule and locker number, I looked them over.  
  
"Wow! We have every class together except one. I have History in fifth and you have Physics. Raye's in that class though. She'll help you. Just try not to be around her when dealing with chemicals too much." I winked at her as she placed her hands on her hips, pouting and whimpering. I laughed just as the first bell rang.  
  
"Your locker is on the second floor. So is Litas, so she'll help you. I'll see you in Math, okay!" I waved goodbye as I left the office towards my locker. Well, so much for freedom. 


	3. The Angels Cerfew

It's been a month since my first meeting with Darien. Everyone says we've become so close, it's like we've knows eachother our whole life. I'd have to agree. When I'm around him, it's like something between us just clicks. I could tell on that first day we ran into eachother. I questioned why he seemed so open about his past and such, but somehow I didn't mind. Usually, I'm very shy around people, not really knowing who I can trust anymore. All the experiences I've had with people I'm suppost to be able to trust have mostly ended in, well, hurt. Even though I feel so comfortable around him, I still keep closed. I'm closed to everyone. No one knows of my real life.  
  
Listening to the soft crunching of snow under my feet, I pulled my fuzzy pink toque down further over my ears. Watching my breath roll out in small clouds of white, I knew I would never get used to this. Knowing my house was just around the corner, I quickened my pace. Not to get home because I wanted to be there. I just wanted to get warm. Any way I could.  
  
Looking up, I saw a boy in a dark blue jacket crossing the street up ahead. Recognizing the dark hair, I called out to him.  
  
"Darien!" Turning abruptly in the middle of the street, he looked over to me. Taking a bare hand out of his pocket, he waved to me. Hearing a car horn, he ran off the street to my side. His ears and nose were red from the cold. Wondering why he didn't have anything but his jacket to stay warm, I took off my white scarf. As he walked closer, you could see his strong form shivering.  
  
"Hey,Serena. Where are you coming from?" Looking down at me, he smiled trying to hide his shivers. I held out the scarf, offering its warmth. He eyed it for a minute, not really sure what I was doing. Placing it around his neck, I smiled.  
  
"Suits you!" The white of the scarf clahsing against his dark hair really did suit him quite well. He fingered the object, feeling the fuzziness. He looked at me, his smile hidden from the material. I blushed, grabbing his hand and walking down the street aimlessly. After a few moments of silence, he finally began to talk again.  
  
"You never answered my question." Peering at him through the corner of my eye and smiling to myself, I thought of what I should tell him. I couldn't very well tell him I had just come from a three-hour walk to escape my home. I don't think he'd buy it anyways. So I came up with something different.  
  
"I was, uh, at the library, checking out books for History. I have a big report due next month, and thought I should get a head start." Figuring it was believable since he wasn't in that class, I stared ahead into the swirl of snow around us. Walking for a while longer, I noticed we were just getting farther and farther away from my house. I had to be home by six and it was already five-thirty. Hopefully we weren't too far away. Clearing my throat to ease the silence, I played with my mitts, picking off not-really- there fuzz. Realizing we were both feeling slightly akward, I decided to start a conversation.  
  
"So, where do you live? I don't think I've ever seen your house before." Picturing a large house somewhere in the rich part of town, I heard him mumble an answer.  
  
"It's in Mayfeild Park." He exclaimed. Not believing what he had just said, I looked at him with curiosity in my eyes. He looked to his opposite side, avoiding my stare. Knowing how uncomfortable it was to be watched, I looked forward again. Mayfeild Park is, well, it's not the richest part of town. Infact, it's next on the list after street corners and boxes. I didn't get it. He seemed very rich, went to the rich school, had nice clothes. It really didn't add up. I knew I wouldn't get an explanation so I decided to drop the subject.  
  
Checking my watch, I read five forty-five. Fifteen minutes left, and we were really far away. Rounding a corner, I saw a sign that read 'Café'. Deciding it would be nice to get some hot chocolate, I tugged on Dariens arm, pulling him towards the small building.  
  
"Want to get some hot chocolate or something?" He looked inside the window, then to me, smiling through the scarf.  
  
"Sounds great!" He replied, leading me inside. As soon as he opened the door, I felt a warm blast of air. The smell of fresh pastries and coffee welcomed me. Shedding my winter shelter, I took a seat at a small two-person table. The café had a dark atmosphere. Brick walls of a dark brown went well with the red tiled floor. Dark mahogany wood made up the tables and chairs. Behind the counter stood a man with light brown hair and green eyes. Looking about seventeen, I smiled to the waitor. Smiling back, he walked over, a notepad in hand.  
  
"Good afternoon. What should I get you two today?" Looking to the sign behind the counter, I went over my choices. 'Mocha, coffee, milkshake, laté.oh!'  
  
"I'll have a milkshake please! With vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce." I smiled to the man, my mouth wattering just thinking about it. Darien eyed me suspiciously. I shifted under his stare. Why do people always do that to me?  
  
"You're going to have a milkshake? With cold ice cream? After we just got out from the cold?" Shocked by his comment, I put a hand over my heart dramatically.  
  
"But, of course! Ice cream is a delicacy to me, good sir. I'll take it whenever I can." He laughed and put down his order for a medium cocoa.  
  
We sat for about three hours, the thought of my cerfew drifting from my mind. Chatting about school and what our plans were for the summer. We got on to the topic of what we want to do with our life. I told him I'd love to be a homemaker, like my mother. I learned that he wished to become a photographer and travel the world, meeting new people and seeing new places. It sounded wonderful. He made me want to go. Hearing his dreams made me think about my own. I knew I didn't have much potential, my life being held back by things unheard of. I wished me dreams could fly like his.  
  
Looking out the café window, I almost fainted when I saw how dark it was outside. The snow created a blue grey hue. The moon was shining through the clouds. Feeling the tears coming, knowing I was more than late, I grabbed my coat. I looked to Donovan while putting on my toque and stuffing my mittens in my pockets.  
  
"I'm so sorry, I have to go. I'm very late. I was suppost to be home by six tonight." Thinking out loud, I didn't hear what I was saying. Heading towards the door, I talked to myself under my breath. "Oh he's going to be so mad. I can't believe I was so stupid!" Cursing myself, I turned and waved to Darien. Running down the streets, falling a couple times on ice covered by new powder, I let the tears fall down my face. This time it was my fault. I keep pushing these things on myself. No wonder he hits me like this. I'm such an idiot! As the tears froze onto my cheeks, I held my jacket closer now. Running up my front steps, I stopped infront of the door. It had to be atleast nine now. I didn't want to look at my watch. It would be just another face mocking me. Hoping there was a chance he might be asleep, I quietly pushed open the door. Once I was inside, I slipped out of my shoes and jacket, hanging it on the available hook. Not daring to turn on any lights, I crawled up the stairs. The wood was cold to my touch. As I stood at the top, I looked to the living room. Shadows hid any possible places he could be. I decided to make a break for it, and turned to run down the long hall to the stairs. Only getting a few steps ahead, I heard movement behind me. A hand smashed firmly against my mouth, hushing any possible screams. Another arm wrapped around my own and my upper body. Throwing me into the dark room, I landed on the hard wood floor. Hitting my wrist on the table edge as I fell, I contained my pain, letting only tears fall. I hoped it was broken so I could go to the hospital and be treated. Just get away from this for one day.  
  
He walked over, and I heard a growl in his breath as he undid the belt around his waist. His dark brown eyes flashing satisfaction, he threw me a pillow. Wrapping the belt around his fist leaving about a foot, he raised his hand, slashing it down. I winced. I began to think; maybe it was better outside than in here.  
  
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Sitting on the sofa in the living room, I looked at the Christmas tree infront of me. Bright blue lights shone out, creating eerie shadows from the tree branches. Clear ornaments of angels and bells hung from various places. Atop the tree sat a silk gold and cream angel. Her halo shining a dull gold from the darkness, her wings fanned out behind her. Underneath, three presents sat. One for my mother, one for myself, and the other for him. Mom said I should get one for him, out of courtesy. I had no idea what to get him, so I asked her what she thought I should get. A few suggestions seemed reasonable, but one semed perfect.  
  
Sitting, looking at the tree, I didn't really hear when he came in the door. Mother wasn't home yet, still out shopping. I stared into the lights, my eyes not blinking from the trance they had set on me. Knowing he was near, I continued to stare, trying to get lost in thought. Thinking of flying away as the angel on the tree. Thinking of snow and how pure it was. How this day stood for love and new beginnings. For everyone except me, maybe it did. For me, it was just another holiday waiting to be ruinned.  
  
"Serena!" Shook from my thoughts, I looked to where he was standing. A sly smile on his face, he glared at me. I knew what he had planned. Wrapping the blanket I had around me tighter, I sunk. Sitting on the sofa like a child, I stared at him. His fists tensed, and he walked close to me. I closed my eyes, only to feel a small brush on my cheek. Wrinkles ran across it, tickling me. I opened my eyes, and felt sick. His hands were on me. Thinking he may have found a new perverted hobby, I wimpered. He smiled at my sounds.  
  
"Don't worry sweetie. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry." My eyes widened and looked into his. They seemed happy, not full of anger as usual. For a moment, I doubted it. It could be a cruel joke. But those eyes. Truth somehow sang to me. I felt this might be true. Maybe, I was finally receiving a new beginning. Maybe, my Christmas wish had come true. Not knowing what to believe, my eyes clouded over. The image infront of me swam in the pools. Tears fell, confusion and saddness floating in every one. He used his thumb, and wiped them away. He helped me to a sitting position, and looked into my eyes.  
  
"Serena.can you ever forgive me?" A tear fell from his own eyes, and I knew it. He meant it. Someone was listening to my cries all along. Finally, they had let me be redeemed with life. I smiled. Embracing him in a warm hug, he tensed for a minute. Then slowly, he wrapped his arms round my neck. I closed my eyes, feeling the hug grow tighter. He laughed, and I laughed with him. Tightenning the hug more, he pushed me back to the sofa. I let the embrace go, and looked at him.  
  
He smiled.  
  
Suddenly, his hands were around my throat. Surprised at first, I gasped for air, feeling my lungs begin to close. Fear welled up inside and I tried to scream. No sound came though. Just a small, choking. Kicking, I looked at him.  
  
"You stupid little brat! You actually think I would be as nice as to love you! You of all people!" He growled at me through gritted teeth. Black mist was coming from the sides of my eyes. He pushed down harder, sending the air away from me.  
  
"You deserve this you know! You just had to be late yesterday. Your mother cooked a wonderful meal, and your helping got cold. I guess that means you don't want to eat, doesn't it?" I attempted to shake my head, dizziness my only reward.  
  
"You'll get what you deserve you little whore! I saw you walking with that boy yesterday! What is he? Huh,Serena? Are you his little bitch? Because you're sure acting like it!" My eyes swelled shut as he pushed harder, and I sunk to the ground. His hands gripping my neck tighter, blackness came again. A slap went across my face, leaving a burning sensation behind. I rolled my head to the side. It bobbed up and down as he pushed over and over. I looked over his shoulder. An angel sat watching me. It's halo dull from the shadows. I looked at its folded hands, wishing its prayer were for me. 


End file.
